Articles tagged with: Kate Patterson


A New Perspective on Grief

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Find a new perspective on grief

The death of a loved one presents the biggest emotional challenge most of us will ever face.

Recently, I've gone through my own profound experience of grief as I looked after my former mother-in-law in the final days of her life.I want to share with you how I've coped and used the Thrive programme to deal with the maelstrom of emotions our family has been caught up in.



Why was I there?

You may think it's strange that I was there for the mother of my ex-husband, but we had a close bond during the 25 years I was her daughter-in-law.

Sadly, my first husband now has terminal cancer, so I stepped in to support his dying mother in his place, alongside her daughter.

Peaceful and serene

We worked hard to keep everything peaceful and serene, letting this extraordinary lady who loved fashion, music and colour live out her last days in comfort.

We held her hands, talked to her about old times and sang gently as she took her last breaths. It was deeply emotional, terribly sad and exhausting. But what struck me was how I'm able to use what I'd learned during the Thrive programme to manage my feelings.

Lessons learned

I know my emotions are my own and I can take responsibility for them. Instead of dwelling on guilt, hurt and time lost following my divorce from her son, I can choose to focus on the lovely times we shared together.

My attitude can match hers, and I can smile thinking of her funeral - the day the mourners filled a church with so much colour that a bystander would assume it was a wedding, just as she wanted.

Of course, you will feel deep grief when someone you love dies. But you are not powerless against that grief. Taking responsibility for our emotions empowers us, and if I want to feel sad, I know that it's OK to give in to that but not allow it to overwhelm me. I can also choose to reflect positively on my mother-in-law's life and everything we meant to each other.

If you need help...

If you need more help and advice on how best to manage difficult emotions, please call me on 07747 186670 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. I'll show you how the Thrive Programme can teach you the skills to cope.

Help with bereavement

For someone to talk to: Cruse bereavement

For support for people bereaved by suicide: Facing the Future

If you want to be proactive and learn how to be the best version of yourself - so that when life's unexpected events happen you have all the skills to hand and don't need to feel overwhelmed - contact Thrive with Kate

Food for thought

When Todd first came to me, he was in despair.

Although he was a talented chef, he had a terrible gambling problem, and it was ruining his professional and personal life.

He no longer had access to credit or debit cards but would use his wages to go out and gamble between shifts at the restaurant.

His partner was preparing to leave him and planned to take their young children with her.

We worked through the Thrive Programme together, and after six sessions, Todd said to me, "I now believe in myself, and I feel that I can achieve anything."

His attitude and outlook had changed, and he felt ready to put his life back together.

Skype Sessions

Great news for people who want Thrive Programme™ consultations but can't meet face-to-face! I can now offer sessions via Skype.

Contact me for more information by calling 07747 186670 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..



T: 07747 186670
E: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

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Cambridgeshire CB7 4BZ

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Posted in Help to Thrive


A blog Kate Patterson

#12o'clock tips

You may have noticed that I regularly tweet  #12o'clock tips and I thought that it would be a good idea to add them here too. These tips are to be a gentle reminder of the things that you can do to make a difference to the way you live your life. They may be profound, they may be funny but they will always be useful. Enjoy!

Posted in Help to Thrive


Self Esteem as a Key to Weight Management

Thinking of summer? This will help be there person you want to be.

Are you on first name terms with your muffin-top? 

Bingo wings in a flap? 

Or on a mission to put on a few pounds and get back into the ‘healthy’ range?

Research shows that high self-esteem is significant in helping you to achieve weight-related goals. Psychologists believe it’s our reaction to setbacks that will determine our eventual success.

Posted in Help to Thrive


Ella - How getting lost was a start of a brighter future

How getting lost was her start of a brighter future

How getting lost was the start of a brighter future.

Ella, a client of mine, although not a confident driver, having only recently past her test, drove herself to her first appointment with me as her mum wasn’t able. Understandably she was anxious and panicky which resulted in her getting thoroughly lost and arriving late. She arrived at my office in a state of high anxiety and stress.

We live in a world of added pressures and expectations. Some of us can cope well under these conditions, others can’t and we become stressed and anxious. It can seem as though we have little or no control over our emotions at all. 

This is exactly what Ella said when we met for the first time, she believed that everything was making her anxious.

Our conversation during her session was varied talking mainly about the things she as good at and her ambitions for the future. It became clear that Ella had a very fixed view about her abilities until she began to really think about how she really coped with things. 

We began to talk about her journey to her appointment that morning and just by simply looking from a different perspective at how she coped with things did she slowly began to recognise that she was more able than she originally believed.

After only one session, she learned five key points about herself that she had never realized. She did this by focusing on what she could do and not what she couldn’t.

She learned -

  • She had more courage than she realized 
  • She was able to calm herself down
  • She was calm enough to get back on the right road and continue her journey 
  • She was calm enough to park her car 
  • She managed to settle herself quickly into her session 

Non of these things happened by magic…. Ella did it. 

Feeling more confident about herself Elle set herself some simple challenges which were to engage with people she didn’t know every day. 

I know she will have done her homework and I’m very excited to hear how successful she has been. 

Have you ever set yourself a challenge like Ella? Let me know, I’d love to hear your story. 


Posted in Help to Thrive

Applied Positive Psychology


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